Pretension
by madeleine68
Summary: Alex Cabot is sixteen. She meets a boy named Liam and finds herself falling in love. But not all is what it seems . . . THE FINAL CHAPTER IS UP! A/U. Please review.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Liam. Everything else belongs to Dick Wolf.**

**This is an AU fic about when Alex was in high school, and even though it revolves mainly around Alex, it does have a bit of E/O. Olivia is Alex's best friend and they're juniors in high school.**

**The more reviews I get, the more I write!**

The bell rang for the next class and sixteen-year-old Alex Cabot jumped out of her chair. She had been studying in the library over her lunch hour and now it was time for her law class.

"Shit!" she cried as she dropped her books on the ground.

"Hey," said a voice behind her as she started to gather her things. "Alex, right?"

Alex turned around and saw a tall, handsome boy with dark hair and brown eyes standing over her. It took her a moment to place him before she remembered that he was a senior, and a jock at that. She didn't remember which game he played – either basketball or soccer. Olivia was the one who cared about jocks, not her, even though it was only because her boyfriend, Elliot, was one. He was on the basketball team. His name was Laird or Liam or Landon – something like that. Why was this boy talking to her? She wasn't his type – she was serious, studious, scholarly. Once, she and Olivia had gone to one of Elliot's basketball games and Alex had congratulated him for scoring the final goal.

"It's basket, not goal," he had corrected her, hiding his smile.

Alex had blushed and Olivia and Elliot had both laughed.

Alex turned to the boy. "Yeah, it's Alex. Hi."

The boy bent down and started to help her gather her supplies. "Hey, I'm Liam."

"Hi, Liam," said Alex, balancing her books with her right arm as Liam handed them to her.

"You know what?" said Liam. "You come here every day with that girl – Stabler's girlfriend. Olivia, right? Where is she today?"

"Not feeling well," replied Alex. It wasn't true; Olivia was at home taking care of her drunken mother, but Liam didn't need to know that.

"Well, I've been watching you for awhile," he said.

Alex gave him an uncomfortable smile. "That's kind of creepy."

He laughed. "Not like that. I just noticed you coming in here every day, studying. It's not often that you see a girl who's smart _and _gorgeous."

She grinned at his smooth flirtation. "Thanks."

"Can I walk you to class?" he offered. "You have, what, law?"

"Yes. How do you know that?"

He shrugged. "I've just seen you around."

"I'm going to be a prosecutor someday," she told him.

Liam smiled. "And put away all the bad guys?"

"Yes."

"You'd be good at that."

Alex smiled. "You've known me for all of five minutes."

He shrugged. "I can just tell. I'll walk you to class."

* * *

The next morning, Olivia met Alex in the cafeteria before class.

"How's your mom?" asked Alex.

Olivia shrugged. "Hung over. But I didn't feel like missing another day."

Alex smiled. "Glad you're back. Guess what happened yesterday?"

"What?"

"Do you know Liam DeMarco?"

"Yeah, he's on the basketball team with Elliot. Why?"

"He was flirting with me yesterday and he asked me to go out for dinner and a movie on Friday. He's actually kind of smart, for a jock – and _really_ hot."

Olivia smirked. "He is. Elliot says he's a good guy."

"Well, I have a problem, Liv. What am I supposed to wear?"

"Are you going out for a fancy dinner?"

Alex nodded.

"Then wear your black dress."

Alex smiled. "Which one?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You have too many clothes, Cabot. The one you wore to that play we went to with the school."

"Oh, _that _one. Yeah, that's a nice one. Okay."

* * *

On Friday at 6:00, Alex was waiting anxiously in her bedroom. She reapplied her lipstick for what must have been the eighteenth time and ran her fingers through her long blonde hair. She had curled it and let it flow over her shoulders, long and beautiful.

The doorbell rang and Alex's heart stopped. She started to run downstairs, but then caught herself and made her way to the door with decorum, standing straight and tall in her heels. She opened the door and greeted Liam.

"Sorry I'm late," he apologized. "You look beautiful, Lex. Not that you don't look beautiful naturally, but you look _especially _beautiful tonight."

She smiled at the nickname. "Thanks."

"You ready?"

"Yeah."

She followed Liam to his black Mercedes. He held open the door for her and she climbed in. "Nice car," she commented.

"Yeah," he agreed. "It is."

She smiled at his lack of modesty as he turned on the car and drove them to the restaurant. He held the door open and ushered Alex in first. "Table for two," he said to the hostess.

"Right this way," said the hostess, and led them to a table with a white tablecloth and a candle, next to the window.

Liam held out Alex's chair for her and she smiled at his courteousness. He sat down across from her.

"So, Alex," said Liam. "Tell me about yourself."

"I thought you already knew everything about me," she replied, mildly amused.

"Well, I know that you're gorgeous," he said, ticking off each thing on his fingers. "I know that you're smart. I know that you want to be a prosecutor when you get older. I know your family is well-off. I know that this term you're taking math, English, English literature, and law. I know that Olivia Benson is your best friend. And that's pretty much it, so tell me more."

Alex smiled. "Why don't you tell me about yourself? You seem to know quite a lot about me."

He shrugged. "I'm a basketball player. Handsome, smart, kind, witty, charming. And very modest, as you see."

Alex chuckled. "Very."

The waitress came up to their table. "Are you two ready to order?"

"Oh, um, I'll just have the penne rose," said Alex.

Liam laughed. "No, you don't want that. Why don't you try the sirloin?"

"No, thanks," said Alex. "I think I'll stick with the penne."

Liam turned to the waitress. "I'll have the chicken and the lady will have the sirloin."

Alex started to protest but the waitress had already left. "I don't like sirloin," Alex told him.

"Try it," said Liam easily. "You'll like it if you try it."

She sighed and didn't say anything as Liam filled her in on his basketball stats and his family and their beach house. Finally he said, "But enough about me. Tell me about your family."

She shrugged. "I'm an only child. Typical trophy daughter."

Liam grinned. "I know the feeling."

"They dress me up like their doll," complained Alex. "Ever since I was a little kid."

"When your mom goes out for lunch and makes you come along, does she brag about you?"

"Yeah, for about ten minutes, it's '_darling _Alexandra this' and '_darling _Alexandra that'. '_Darling _Alexandra got perfect on an English literature exam.' '_Darling _Alexandra volunteered at the local animal shelter last weekend.' '_Darling _Alexandra'"

He laughed. "Same here. And then it's like you're not even there for the next decade."

The waitress arrived and gave Alex and Liam their food. Alex smiled politely and took a bite, even though the steak tasted weird in her mouth. She really didn't like steak but she ate it anyway. It was their first date, after all.

* * *

After dinner, they went to a movie. Liam ordered them popcorn and they sat down in the theater. It was a romantic comedy that Liam had chosen because he thought Alex would like it. Every few minutes they would reach for the popcorn at the same time and they smiled at each other as their fingers touched. Alex felt a spark every time.

**Review if you want chapter two!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Liam is the only character that belongs to me. Everything else is owned by Dick Wolf.**

**Sorry, I know it moves kind of fast.**

**Please review if you want to read chapter three!**

"How was your date?" asked Olivia eagerly the next morning. "Where'd you go? What did you do? Did you wear your black dress? What did you –?"

"Wow, calm down," said Alex with a smile. "It was great." She told Olivia all about it but left out the part about Liam ordering her dinner for her.

Olivia sighed. "Wow. You think there's going to be a second date?"

She nodded. "He already asked me for next Saturday."

"That's awesome!"

Alex smiled. "I know."

She was in love.

* * *

They went out for three more months. Liam was like a dream. He took her to Broadway, to movies, to the beach, to Radio City Music Hall, to dinners. He bought her jewelry and stuffed animals and cute outfits.

But one day, all this changed. They were at Liam's house, sitting in his bedroom. He was perched on his bed and Alex was sitting at Liam's desk, writing an essay. Liam was working on his French and Alex was helping him.

"So, Lex," said Liam. "We're writing about our hopes for the future. How do you say, _I want to marry a beautiful girl named Alex Cabot and live with her forever _in French?"

Alex smiled. "_Je veux me marier avec une belle fille s'appelle Alex Cabot et je veux vivre avec elle pour toujours. _"

"Okay," said Liam, grinning. "How do you spell that?"

Alex spelled it out for him.

"What next?" asked Liam. "What else do I want to do?"

Alex laughed. "Do your own homework!"

Without any warning, Liam leapt off his bed. He was next to Alex in an instant and grabbed her, wrapping his hands around her throat.

Alex's eyes widened in shock as she tried to pry his hands away from her throat. She struggled for air and tried to scream, but she didn't have enough air in her lungs even for that.

Liam pulled her out of her chair and began to shake her. Alex tried to push his hands away, but he was an athlete and stronger than she was. Thoughts raced through Alex's find at the speed of light. Why was he doing this to her?

Finally, Liam released her. Alex fell backward onto the bed, massaging her throat and coughing, taking pleasure in the unhindered supply of fresh air into her lungs. "Liam," she gasped. "Liam!"

"Don't you ever talk to me that way again," he growled.

Alex looked confused. "Liam, I was just joking. I'm sorry."

His anger seemed to evaporate and he sat down next to her. Alex flinched as he put his arm around her shoulders, but didn't pull away. "Look, baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Hey, you want to go swimming?"

Alex, still shaken, thought about it, but nodded.

* * *

The next day at lunch, Alex, wearing a turtleneck to conceal the bruises on her neck, was sitting with Olivia and Elliot. Liam strode across the cafeteria to sit down next to Alex and he handed her a velvet box. "Hey, Lex. I have something for you."

Alex smiled at him. "What is it?"

"Open it and find out."

Alex opened the box to find a necklace with a heart charm. "Thank you, Liam," she said, throwing her arms around him and planting a kiss on his cheek.

He smiled at her. "Would you like me to put it on you?"

Alex nodded and let her boyfriend clasp the necklace around her neck. She fingered the chain. "It's beautiful, Liam. Thank you."

"I love you, baby," he whispered, giving her a kiss.

"I love you, too," she replied, kissing him back.

"Hey," interrupted Olivia. "I'm feeling left out, El." She leaned over and planted a kiss on her boyfriend's lips.

Elliot grinned and ran his hand through Olivia's hair. "I love hanging out with you guys. You bring out the best in Olivia."

She smiled and batted his hand away. "Shut up."

Alex was feeling a bit uncomfortable, so she offered to go buy lunch. Olivia said she'd come with.

The second the girls were out of earshot, Liam leaned toward Elliot. "You just let her talk to you like that?"

Elliot shrugged. "She's just joking. What's the matter?"

Liam raised his eyebrows. "I just wouldn't like it if Lex was talking to me that way. It's wrong."

Elliot laughed. "Why is it wrong?"

"It's disrespectful."

"_Disrespectful_?"

"It's rude to say _shut up_."

Elliot shrugged. "I guess."

Just then, Alex and Olivia returned with the food. Olivia handed a tray to Elliot and Alex handed one to Liam. The girls sat down and they all started to eat.

"So, Lex," said Liam, his mouth full of French fries. "You're coming to the game tonight, right?"

Alex paused. "Actually, Liam, I was meaning to tell you. My parents are making me come with them to go see my grandma in Buffalo."

Something flashed across Liam's face that scared Alex for a moment, but then he relaxed. "That's okay, Lex. Next time."

She let out a breath of relief she hadn't even realized she'd been holding in. "Sorry, Liam."

"It's okay," he assured her.

"I'll come," Olivia said.

"Yeah, Liv. You have nothing better to do on a Friday night, so naturally, you'll go wherever I do," teased Elliot.

"Too true," she agreed. "You, _mi cielo_, are my life."

Elliot smiled and ruffled her hair.

* * *

On the way out from the cafeteria, Liam said to Alex, "You know, I don't really appreciate you making me look bad in front of Elliot."

Alex looked confused. "What did I do?"

"You badmouthed me."

"How did I –"

"Shut up!" growled Liam.

He grabbed Alex's wrist and twisted it backward. Alex cried out and tried to pull out of his grasp. "Liam, Liam, please . . ."

"Shut _up_!" he repeated, and Alex fell silent. She looked around wildly for someone but for once, the hallway was empty.

Liam shoved Alex into the lockers and held her head against it. Alex bit her lip to keep from screaming. She tasted blood.

"Tell your parents that you're not going to your grandma's," he hissed. "You're coming to see me play and God help you if you're not there." He released Alex, giving her one more shove for good measure, and stalked off to class.

Alex stood staring after him, absently rubbing her purpling wrist as Olivia trotted up to her. "Hey, Alex. What's the matter?"

Alex snapped out of it. "Nothing. I'm fine, Liv."

"Where's Liam?"

"He went to class."

Olivia shrugged. "Okay. I probably won't see you later, so have fun at your grandma's."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Liv. Have a good weekend."

But as Olivia scurried away, Alex felt a pang of anxiety materialize in her stomach. How was she going to convince her parents to let her stay home?

* * *

Alex knocked on her mother's bedroom door when she got home. "Mom?"

Her mother opened the door. "Hello, Alexandra. How was your day?"

Alex took a deep breath. "Mom, something came up. I can't come to Grandma's with you. I have a . . . project I need to finish at the library."

Mrs. Cabot knitted her brows. "Alexandra, we already told my mother we were coming."

Alex fought back her tears. Her grandmother was ill and in the hospital and Alex really wanted to visit her, but she didn't want to risk angering her boyfriend. "I'm sorry, Mom, but it's really important."

Her mother sighed. "Fine. We're going to spend the night, so I'll see you on Saturday evening."

Alex breathed a sigh of relief as she made her way back to her room to change.

* * *

Alex entered the gym twenty minutes before the game and met Olivia in the bleachers. Olivia smiled when she saw Alex. "Hey, I thought you were going to see your grandmother."

Alex shrugged nonchalantly. "No. We changed our plans."

Olivia noticed the purple bruise on Alex's wrist. "Alex, what happened to your wrist?"

Alex pulled down the sleeve of her turtleneck so it covered the bruise. "Nothing."

Olivia looked concerned. "Are you sure?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine, Liv." She changed the subject. "Is Elliot psyched for the game?"

"Yeah. He's taking me out for pizza afterward. Just casual. Want to come?"

She hesitated. "I'll have to ask Liam."

"Even if he doesn't want to, you can come by yourself."

Alex shrugged. "No, I think I'll ask him."

Olivia brushed a strand of shoulder-length brown hair away from her face. "Are you sure you're okay, Alex?"

Alex managed a smile. "I'm fine, Liv."

**Review for more!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf (excluding Liam).**

**Warning for M-rated content in this chapter.**

**Review for chapter four!**

Their team won the game. Afterward, Olivia and Alex ran to greet their boyfriends. Elliot lifted Olivia into his arms and twirled her around. "We won, Liv!" he crowed.

"I know," she replied, planting a kiss on his cheek. "And you, _mi cielo_, scored the winning basket!"

"You're my good luck charm," he said with a grin.

"Hey, Alex," said Olivia. "So, are we going together?"

"What's she talking about?" asked Liam.

"Oh, um, Olivia and Elliot invited us out for pizza with them. Do you want to go?"

"Sure," he replied after a moment's thought. "Let's go."

* * *

"So, Elliot," said Liam. "Lex and I are going upstate for the long weekend. What are you doing?"

Elliot shrugged. "I haven't gotten that far yet."

Olivia laughed. "You guys are so organized! We plan everything last minute – if we plan at all."

Liam put his arm around Alex and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Sometimes it's nice to plan," commented Alex.

Liam ran his fingers through Alex's long blonde hair and pulled her closer. "That's right, baby."

Alex took a bite of pizza. "We're staying at Liam's beach house."

"That sounds nice," said Olivia. "Hey, El, why don't you get your mom to buy a beach house?"

"With whose money will we buy this amazing beach house, _ma cherie_?"

She thought about it. "We should go rob a bank!"

"I'm cool if you're cool," agreed Elliot. "You do the deed and I'll stand guard. These muscles have to be good for something!"

They all laughed.

"You can bring Olivia up any time, Elliot," invited Liam.

"Thanks, Liam," said Elliot. "Maybe we'll do that sometime."

Alex took another bite of pizza, but Liam gently pried her hands away and put the pizza back on the plate. "You don't need any more pizza, Lex," he said, glancing meaningfully at her stomach and taking a bite of pizza himself. "You must be over one twenty by now."

Alex looked at the ground. "Sorry, Liam."

Olivia and Elliot exchanged glances but didn't comment.

They finished eating and then went their separate ways. "See you Monday, Alex," said Olivia.

"Bye," replied Alex, climbing into the passenger seat of Liam's Mercedes.

Olivia and Elliot waved as Liam turned the key in the ignition and started to drive away. "Hey, baby," said Liam. "How about we go to my house?"

"Sorry, Liam," said Alex. "I can't."

"Aw, come on, Alex. Your parents aren't home. Or don't you love me?"

"Of course I do," Alex assured him. "I just don't think this is such a good idea."

"Are you questioning me?" asked Liam, his tone changing instantaneously.

Alex instinctively shied away from him. "No, no. I'll stay at your place."

Liam smiled. "That's good, Lex."

When they reached Liam's house, Liam led Alex to his room. "Liam," she protested. "I don't have any pajamas."

He grinned. "You're not going to need them."

Alex suddenly realized what he was hinting at and her stomach got a queasy. "Liam, I don't want to do this."

He turned around unexpectedly and his fist made contact with Alex's face. "Lie down on the bed," he ordered.

"Liam," she begged, butterflies dancing in her stomach. "Please don't."

"Don't move," he told her as he lifted her shirt off. Alex tried to cover herself with her hands, but Liam roughly held her arms behind her back and finished undressing her. Soon, Alex was laying comatose on the bed in just her bra and panties.

Liam unclasped her bra and gently removed it. Then he pulled off her panties and set them aside. Alex began to cry silently. "Please, Liam, please don't do this. I don't want to do this."

He smacked her hard across the face and she cried out. Humiliated and hurt, she turned on her side and tried not to think about Liam running his hands up and down her body, her thighs, her breasts, her arms. When he started touching her between her legs, she squeezed her eyes shut. These kinds of things didn't happen to her. Alex was always the girl everyone envied – smart, pretty, blonde, and rich. She had it all. But now she was lying on the bed as her boyfriend forced himself on her, unable to do anything about it.

Her stomach was bruised from where he'd kicked her several days before and so were her arms. She tried to think of something else, something happy, to go somewhere else in her mind as Liam lowered his pants. He took off his underwear and soon he was inside her, pushing, hurting her. Alex couldn't help but scream in pain, but he smacked her again when she cried out, grunting as he thrust inside her.

Silent tears streaked down Alex's cheeks and she bit down hard on her lip. She refused to beg or plead again. She would be strong.

Finally, he was done. He got up and left her lying on the bed. There was blood, so much blood, coming out of her. She knew she had to clean it up before her boyfriend returned. He would be angry she got blood on his pristine sheets, so she got up and tried to clean the mess. She wet a washcloth and scrubbed and scrubbed, but to no avail. Finally, she put her clothes back on to preserve her modesty and collapsed back onto the bed in desperation. She let the tears run freely down her face. Alex Cabot had been broken.

"Lex," breathed Liam as he entered the room again. "Wasn't that just amazing?"

Alex cringed and moved away from him. She ducked her head in shame and didn't say a word.

"We should do it again sometime," said Liam.

She closed her eyes as he lay down next to her in the bed.

"Here, take off your clothes, Lex. We can't have you sleeping in your day clothes."

Alex wrapped her arms around herself protectively. "No, I – I'm okay, thanks."

With one swift movement, he had Alex by the throat, her frail body pinned to the wall. She'd lost weight since she'd met him – he insisted that she stay very, very thin and got angry when she ate anything more than a salad or a couple bites of whatever everyone else was having. Now, she was too weak to ever fight back.

"You will do as I tell you, bitch," he growled. Then he let go and began to kick her in the head. Alex fell to the ground as he released her and curled up into a ball, covering her head with her hands to shield it from the blows.

"Okay," she whispered. "I'm sorry, Liam. I'm sorry." She began to rip her clothes off as fast as she could to show her compliance. Maybe if she obeyed him, he wouldn't hit her any more.

"Good," he approved as Alex climbed up onto the bed with him.

She was naked now and he ran his hands up and down her fragile body once again. She shuddered at the touch, closing her eyes and trying to will away the pain she felt, both physically and mentally. She felt nauseous; the boy who she'd thought loved her had betrayed her. She was caught in his web and she didn't know how to break free.

**Review if you want to know what happens next!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf (except for Liam).**

**Author's note: Okay, I know this one isn't as good as the last ones; it's more of a filler, so don't judge too harshly.**

**Review for more!**

Alex couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned all night. She felt so dirty and wanted to wash herself, but she knew that Liam would wake up and get angry if she moved. So she lay on the bed next to this boy, praying that he wouldn't hurt her again, trying to hold back her tears.

* * *

The next morning, Liam took Alex out to see _Chicago _on Broadway. He held her hand the whole way through and put his other arm around her as she rested her head on his shoulder. She hadn't forgotten about last night, but she was glad that Liam seemed to have.

He took her out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. He let her have whatever she wanted. She decided to take advantage of her good fortune while it lasted and ordered a pasta dish, not worrying about the amount of carbs and calories it contained. Liam ordered them a chocolate cake for dessert. Alex took a couple dainty bites before giving the rest to him.

Liam gave her an approving nod. "That's right, baby. You're going to stay thin and beautiful for me. God, I love you."

Alex gave him an uneasy smile in return.

They went back to Liam's place and watched a movie, a romantic comedy that they both enjoyed. Alex put her head in Liam's lap and he ruffled her hair.

After the movie, they went to bed. Alex lay awake, her head aching from where Liam had kicked it yesterday. It was starting to bruise – one of those injuries that doesn't make itself known for a day or so, but then it hurts like hell.

Her stomach started to grumble. Alex checked to make sure Liam was sound asleep before gingerly climbing out of the bed and padding into the kitchen. She opened the fridge and poured herself a glass of milk.

Suddenly, Alex heard footsteps coming down the hallway. She gulped the milk down and wiped her mouth, trying to hide the evidence that she'd been eating something.

Too late. There was Liam, growling, "What are you doing?"

Alex held the glass behind her back. "Nothing. I couldn't sleep."

"Are you eating something?"

"Just – just water."

"Liar," he barked. Then he said, sounding more disappointed than angry, he said, "You are getting a bit heavy, Lex. Maybe you should start paying more attention to what you eat." He glanced at the carton of milk on the table. "You know, that's 2%. You shouldn't be drinking it. There's lots of fat and you don't really want to gain any more weight. You have enough fat already."

Alex looked at the ground. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I will."

"Good. Ready to come back to bed?"

"In a minute," said Alex. "I just need to go to the washroom."

She put away the milk and made her way toward the bathroom. She stood in front of the mirror for a moment, critically examining her body. She stepped onto the scale. 105. She sighed. She had to lose five pounds.

She hated the way she looked. She was so ugly and . . . fat. That was why Liam didn't love her. Alex turned toward the toilet and stuck her finger down her throat. She gagged at first, but finally her dinner came up. She vomited until there was nothing left in her stomach.

Finally satisfied, she flushed the toilet and brushed her teeth. Then she went back into the bedroom and lay down next to her boyfriend,

"You okay, Lex?" he asked.

Alex sighed and curled toward him, laying her head on his shoulder. "Yeah. I'm fine."

She was. _Now._

* * *

On Monday morning, Alex met Olivia in the cafeteria as she always did. Olivia was bent over a book, cramming for a test. She barely looked up when she saw Alex. "Alex, oh, my God! I have a math test and I didn't study – I'm going to fail!"

Alex gave her a small smile. "No, you won't. You never do."

Olivia looked up. "Hey, Alex, you don't look too hot. Are you okay? Did you eat anything today?"

Alex shrugged. "I wasn't hungry. I'm fine, Liv."

"How was the weekend with Liam?"

"Good."

"What did you guys do?"

"We went to see _Chicago _on Broadway and went out for dinner."

Olivia looked at Alex, a twinkle in her eye. "Did you do anything _else_?"

"No!" exclaimed Alex, panic rising within her.

Olivia put her hands up and moved back. "Whoa, okay, calm down. I was only kidding."

Alex's breathing slowed. "I – I know."

Olivia peered more closely at her. "Are you sure you're okay, Alex?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

Just then, Liam sauntered into the cafeteria. "Hey, baby. I'll walk you to class," he said to Alex, taking her wrist.

Alex glanced at Olivia, then back at her boyfriend. "Sure," she said, though with a slight tremor in her voice.

Olivia observed this scene curiously, not knowing what to make of the look in Alex's eyes. Could it be _fear_? "Hello, _Liam_," she said, placing emphasis on his name.

He barely glanced at her, offering just a mumbled, "Hey."

"Well, I'll see you later, Alex," said Olivia.

"Yeah. Good luck on your math test."

"Thanks."

Liam took Alex's arm and led her out of the cafeteria. His tight grip made Alex nervous. "What's the matter?" she asked.

"Nothing," he replied, giving her arm a sharp tug to make her move faster. "Can't I walk my girlfriend to class?"

Alex quickened her pace to keep up with him and didn't say anything else.

* * *

At lunch, Liam and Alex met up with Elliot and Olivia. "How was your math test, Liv?" asked Alex.

She shrugged. "I probably failed it. I'll survive."

Elliot laughed. "Hey, you guys want some burgers? There's not much of a line."

Liam and Olivia nodded.

"Alex?"

Alex shook her head. "No, thanks."

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

"_Yes."_

Elliot got up to get the food. Liam leaned back in his chair and wrapped his arm possessively around Alex, a gesture that did not go unnoticed by Olivia, who raised her eyebrow and gave Alex a look. She shifted uncomfortably in his grasp.

Elliot returned with the food a moment later. "Sure you don't want anything, Alex?"

"I'm sure," she replied.

Olivia took a big bite of her cheeseburger. Liam eyed her disapprovingly. "Do you know how many carbs are in a burger like that?"

Olivia laughed. "You sound like a teenage girl!"

Liam frowned. "Well, Alex isn't having any of _that _crap. She's going to stay beautiful for me."

"If you think a _toothpick_ is beautiful, that's _your_ warped point of view," snapped Olivia.

Liam raised his eyebrows. "No. Just looking out for my girl. We don't want her to get . . . chunky."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Alex looks fine. She's just the right weight." She looked to Alex, who was sitting with her head ducked down in embarrassment. She wondered why her friend wasn't defending herself.

"You sound like your mother," chuckled Elliot.

Olivia shrugged. "_My _mother never tells me that."

He gave her a kiss on the cheek and started to run his fingers up her thigh under the table. "She doesn't need to. You know how beautiful you are, Liv."

She giggled and swatted his hand away. "You sure tell me often enough."

They were so wrapped up in their banter that they didn't even notice Alex, who was sitting still and silent, her long blonde hair hanging strategically in her face to cover the purple bruise that had formed underneath her right eye.

**Review for chapter five!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf (except for Liam).**

**Review for the next chapter!**

Olivia and Alex had their fourth period class, English, together. Alex was scribbling out an essay that she hadn't had time for the previous night when Olivia plopped down beside her. "Hey, Alex, what's up?"

Alex didn't look up. "Hi," she mumbled.

"You okay?"

Alex nodded slightly. "I'm writing. Leave me alone."

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Homework?"

She nodded again.

Olivia put her hand on top of Alex's to stop her writing. "Alex, are you sure nothing's wrong? You _never _forget to do your homework!"

Alex flinched at Olivia's touch and looked up sharply. "I'm fine!"

But Olivia's acute intake of breath let Alex know that she hadn't fooled her friend for a second. "Alex, what happened to your eye?"

Alex closed her eyes. _Shit. _"Nothing, Liv. Just – just leave me alone, okay?"

Olivia stared for a moment longer. "Did _Liam _do that to you?"

"No!" exclaimed Alex. "No, Liv. He never touched me."

Olivia brushed Alex's hair back from her face. "Alex, what happened? You've been acting so weird lately. What's going on?"

Alex turned away. "I'm just tired. I'm fine. Pay attention to Ms. Reingold."

Olivia sighed and faced the teacher. She listened for a few minutes before turning to Alex in frustration. "Alex," she complained. "I don't get it."

"What don't you get?"

Olivia stuck out her lower lip. "Everything."

Alex sighed and explained the lesson to her friend. Olivia nodded and started writing.

Alex watched her friend for a moment, so untroubled, as if she didn't have a care in the world. Of course Alex knew this wasn't true; Olivia had her own problems, what with her mother's drinking and a long line of boyfriends, but she also had Elliot. And that made everything okay.

Elliot met Olivia at the door after class. Alex was gathering up her books, but she stopped to watch them, the perfect pair. Elliot wrapped his arm casually around Olivia and whispered something in her ear. She giggled and gave him a teasing peck on the lips. He ran his hand through her hair and tickled her neck. She batted his hand away and grinned.

It made Alex sad to see their banter and she ducked her head. It was a painful reminder of what she would never – _could _never – have. She was just unlovable. Not like Olivia. Olivia would never let herself get roped into such a relationship. Even with her mother, she could deal with her conflicts, and come out victorious. She had it rough but she triumphed over the adversity she faced daily. She was so strong, so brave, yet still so empathetic.

Alex wasn't like that.

She hated herself so much.

*** * ***

Alex stormed into her house after school, furious at herself. The housekeeper came out of the laundry room. "Alexandra, your boyfriend called. Five times."

Alex closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. "Thanks, Mara."

She mounted the stairs and flopped down on her bed. She grabbed the cordless telephone and dialed Liam's number. She was trying not to cry as she said, "Hey, baby. What's up?"

"Lex," he said. "I have something very important to tell you."

"What?" she asked, her heart pounding in her chest.

"Olivia is a bad influence on you. I don't want you being friends with her anymore."

Alex let out a whimper, even though she knew that he couldn't hurt her over the phone. "But – but Liam, she's my best friend?"

"But baby, I'm your boyfriend. Isn't that more important?"

"I love you, Liam," she assured him, and she did, even though sometimes she didn't like the things he did. Those things weren't _him_; it was just because she angered him and he couldn't help it. If she wasn't so stupid, if she wasn't so fat, if she just listened to him, he wouldn't have to hit her. "But Olivia's been my best friend ever since we were little."

"But Lex, I thought you loved me. Who's more important, me or that bitch?"

"She's not –"

"Alex, I want you to stop being friends with her and you better listen." He hung up.

Alex sat holding the phone in her hand, staring at it and massaging her temples. Now she had to choose between the boy she loved and her best friend in the entire world. She'd been there for Olivia all her life, ever since they were little. Alex had been the one who would open the door for Olivia in the middle of the night when her friend was scared because her mother had a shady guy over. They spent many nights like that in Alex's room, clutching each other for comfort, ever since they were six. Alex helped Olivia with her homework and lent her clothes and books that Olivia's mother would never have bought her otherwise.

But it was reciprocal. Olivia always listened to Alex's complaints about her own overbearing mother, even though they both knew that Olivia's parent problems were the bigger of the two. They'd shared so many good times, so many good laughs, and Alex always knew she could go to Olivia for anything and everything. Her friend would be there to listen no matter what.

Alex wasn't ready to let that go just yet.

It was the hardest choice she'd ever had to make. She hated herself. She hated that she was going have to say goodbye to one of the two most important people in her life.

So she went into her washroom, stared at herself in the mirror for a moment, and didn't like what she saw. She opened the drawer and noticed one of the razors she used to shave her legs. Her heart pounding in her chest, she rolled up her sleeve and made one quick, deep incision on her upper arm.

Alex held her breath as the blood gushed out of the wound. She felt so . . . _alive_. More alive than she'd felt in a long time. For a moment, she felt like she was flying, floating like an angel in heaven.

She saw the dark blood dripping onto her white tiled floor and quickly mopped it up. She pressed a paper towel to the cut and replaced the razor in the drawer. She looked at herself in the mirror again.

This time, she liked what she saw.

**If you want the next chapter, review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf (except for Liam).**

**Author's note: Sorry, I won't be updating for the next week or so for my birthday ****. We're going on vacation and I won't have Internet access.**

**Review if you want more!**

The next morning, Alex didn't meet up with Olivia in the cafeteria. She sat by herself in a corner, hoping against hope that Olivia wouldn't notice her and ask what was wrong. She took out a book and tried to read.

"Alex!" Olivia trotted up to her. "Aren't you going to come sit with me?"

Alex didn't say anything. She didn't want to have to push away her best friend in the whole world. She hoped Olivia would take the hint.

Olivia peered carefully at her friend. "Alex, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just, Liv, I think we should take a break from being friends."

Olivia frowned. "Is it Liam? I know he doesn't like me."

"No, no, it's not. It's just . . . Liv, you're my best friend, but I can't do this anymore."

"What can't you do?"

Alex buried her head in her hands, trying to hold back the hot tears that threatened to fall. "I can't choose – between you and him – you're my best friend – but I love him!"

"He doesn't love you," commented Olivia.

Alex stood sharply, glaring at her friend. "Yes, he does. He does!"

"No, Alex," said Olivia, sounding a bit defeated. "He wants to control you and there's a difference." Then it gave way to sadness. "I never thought you'd be so easy to control."

"He loves me," repeated Alex stubbornly. "That's what matters. I don't have enough time for him when I'm with you."

Olivia wasn't looking at her, though. Instead she was staring at the purple bruise on Alex's left wrist where her sleeve had ridden up. "Alex, did he hurt you?"

"No! Liam would never do that." But they both knew she was lying through her teeth.

"Alex," said Olivia softly. "You need help."

She shook her head. "I'm fine, Liv."

"No, you're not fine. Alex, did he – did he ever force you?" It was so hard for her to ask but she felt she had to.

"No! Never."

"Did you ever – do it?"

"Yeah. But I wanted it. I wanted it. I did." But she didn't know if she was trying to convince Olivia or herself.

"This isn't the Alex I know," said Olivia sadly, shaking her head.

It wasn't the Alex that Alex knew either. Even Alex didn't know who Alex was anymore.

* * *

Liam waited for her at her classroom at lunchtime. She managed to smile at him as he took her arm and led her to a table at the back of the cafeteria, far away from Elliot and Olivia, who kept shooting them apprehensive glances. Nothing more was said about Olivia; Alex had done as Liam said and got rid of her best friend and so he was momentarily appeased.

Alex sat silently, watching Liam wolf down three slices of pizza. "So . . . do you have basketball practice after school?" she asked, but her voice quavered slightly.

Liam shrugged. "Yeah. We're practicing for the game on Friday. You're coming to see me, right?"

"Of course," answered Alex.

"That's my girl," said Liam with a grin, putting his arm around Alex. She cringed at the touch, put didn't pull away.

She tried to smile back, but couldn't quite manage it.

How had she ended up here?

* * *

When Alex got home, she went into her bathroom and took out the razor. She examined it carefully before slicing her arm once again. She watched the blood pour out and smiled before pressing a paper towel to the wound.

* * *

Alex was caught in a deep, dark, downhill spiral that she could not break free of. She stopped spending time with Olivia and Elliot. She hated herself so much that she stopped eating. She weighed herself daily. She was down to 85 pounds now, but that wasn't good enough. Liam told her that she was getting heavy and so she forced herself to throw up what little she managed to eat.

When the burden got too much to bear, she cut herself. She now had a pattern of deep red lines etched into her skin on her left arm. It comforted her to see the gashes and the large white scars that remained even after the initial cut healed. Liam couldn't hurt her any more than she could hurt herself.

**Review for chapter seven!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf (except for Liam).**

**Author's note: So, I'm back from an AWESOME vacation! Lots more updates coming your way.**

**Review if you want chapter eight!**

Olivia had been pounding on Alex's bedroom door for the better part of ten minutes. "Alex!" she called. "I'm just as stubborn as you are!"

Alex cradled her head in her hands and rolled over on her bed. She was going to kill the housekeeper for letting Olivia into the house. She kept her door locked. Liam would be furious if she spoke with Olivia.

"Alex!" screamed Olivia. "Open this door before I break it down."

"Fuck off, Olivia," muttered Alex.

That stopped Olivia and Alex could tell she had shocked her. Alex _never_ swore, and she never talked to _anyone _that way, especially not her best friend. _Former _best friend.

Alex cringed as she heard the unmistakable sound of Olivia ramming her body into the door. She looked up through her hands and saw Olivia's satisfied smile as the door came crashing down. Olivia was a lot stronger than she looked.

Alex groaned. "My mother's going to kill me."

Olivia climbed up onto the bed and put a hand on Alex's back. Alex flinched, which was probably what Olivia wanted. "You look horrible," she commented.

"Get out," yelled Alex, but her voice faltered, and it didn't sound too convincing.

"Alex," Olivia said quietly. "I miss you. And I'm worried about you."

"Don't be. Just – just leave me alone."

"I know Liam's hurting you," said Olivia. "And I want to help you, but I can't unless you tell me what's wrong."

Alex pulled away. "I don't need any help. Just stop it!"

"Alex, I –"

Olivia stopped when she saw the terrified look on Alex's face. Alex put her finger to her lips. "Shut up!"

They were both silent as they heard heavy footsteps mounting the steps. "It's Liam!" hissed Alex frantically. "Get – get in the closet!"

"Alex –"

"Please, just do it!"

Something in Alex's eyes stopped Olivia from arguing and she crouched down in the closet and closed the door.

Liam sauntered into the room a moment later. Alex tried not to tremble. "Hi," she said, trying to hide the quaver in her voice.

"Hey, babe," said Liam, grinning. "What the hell happened to the door?"

Alex shrugged. "Um, I don't know."

The smile faded from her boyfriend's face. "Liar," he said quietly. "What happened?"

"N-nothing!"

Liam grabbed her by the shoulders and pressed his face close to Alex's, who shied away. "You screwing around with another guy?"

"No!" she shrieked. "I'm not! I love you, Liam!"

He smirked. "Right!"

"Liam," she pleaded. "Please." She knew Olivia was sitting in that closet, peering through the cracks, waiting. She didn't want Liam to find her. He might kill them both.

Liam didn't listen. He shook her hard and her head snapped back. He smacked her once, twice, three times across the face and Alex tried not to cry out. She closed her eyes and bit her lip so hard that she tasted blood.

"Prove it," Liam hissed in her ear.

The world spun around Alex. She felt like she was falling, from the pain he was inflicting on her and the fear that Olivia knew the truth and what she was about to see. "Please," begged a distant voice that she vaguely recognized as her own. "Don't do this!"

Liam heaved her onto the bed and began tearing at her clothes. He threw her baggy pants and turtleneck to the ground and unclasped her bra. Then he tugged her panties down and began to paw at her body with his hands, hungrily running his hands, and then his tongue, up and down.

Alex closed her eyes and went someplace else her mind, somewhere where no one could hurt her. She was dancing through a field of flowers in a long, flowing dress with a man who treated her like a princess and never raised a hand to her.

"Get your fucking hands off her, you bastard!"

Olivia's voice brought Alex crashing back down to Earth. "Liv," whispered Alex, but she wasn't sure if Olivia heard her. She wasn't even sure if she'd really spoken or if she'd just cried out in her head.

Olivia, always the hero, wrapped her arms around Liam's neck, and with strength no one would have guessed she had, pulled him off Alex and held him in a choke-hold. "You fucking bastard," she growled, pressing her knee into his back and wrestling him to the ground. "You are never going to touch Alex again!"

Alex pressed her hands to her mouth and moaned softly. She couldn't speak. She was too overcome to say a word.

"Alex," said Olivia, averting her eyes to preserve her friend's modesty. "Are you okay?"

Alex nodded, her clear blue eyes wide with fear as she tried to cover herself with a blanket.

"You son of a bitch," hissed Olivia through gritted teeth. "I would beat the shit out of you right here if we weren't in Alex's bedroom. I don't want to get blood on her floor."

"Get off me!" Liam ordered her.

"No," said Olivia. "Does this feel good? Because you shouldn't dish out what you can't take." She pressed his face further into the ground. "I'm going to call the police and you're going to be one sorry bastard."

"Liv," said Alex softly. "Don't. Don't. I don't want the police. I don't – just – just let him go."

"Yeah, _Liv_," mocked Liam. "Listen to that little bitch."

Olivia knocked his head into the ground and held it there. "Don't you call my friend a _bitch_," she hissed in his ear.

"Olivia!" cried Alex, retrieving her clothes and starting to get dressed again. "Get off him!"

Olivia looked up at Alex. "Alex, this piece of garbage was hurting you!"

"I know," she whispered. "But – but I deserved it."

"That's right, you filthy whore," said Liam. Olivia had seen it all already so he felt no need to put on a show for her. The time for appearances was long past.

Olivia ground her knee into the back of his head. "Who's the bitch now, Liam?" she taunted. "You just got majorly screwed. Look where Alex is and look where _you _are." She punctuated the remark by pushing him closer to the ground. His head hit the floor again and he cried out involuntarily.

Olivia smirked. She wanted to kill him, and she could have, too. Adrenaline can make you do crazy things.

Suddenly they heard the door open downstairs. "Police!" called a man.

Alex looked at Olivia in astonishment. "Who – who called them?"

Olivia shrugged and the surprise was there on her face. Probably a neighbor had heard the screaming, or the housekeeper, or one of the servants.

Footsteps thundered up the steps and two policemen entered the room, their guns drawn.

"Get up!" one of them ordered Olivia, pointing his gun at her.

Olivia didn't flinch. "He was beating the crap out of my friend."

The man turned to Alex. "Is that true?"

She quaked in terror under the man's stern gaze. "Yes," she whispered. "Olivia's my best friend. She – she was trying to protect me." It hurt her to say this – it hurt her that she _had _to say this.

"He was trying to rape her!" snarled Olivia.

"Okay," said one of the policemen. "We can take it from here. Get up."

Olivia stood up slowly and Liam did the same. He brushed himself off. "I want that bitch arrested for assault!"

"She was just trying to protect me," whispered Alex, hugging herself. "Please don't get Olivia in trouble."

"She's not," the man assured her. "Don't worry. Everything's going to be okay."

The other man grabbed Liam roughly and handcuffed his hands behind his back. "You are under arrest for attempted rape."

"And assault," added Olivia. "He was beating her. Badly."

The police officer nodded. "And assault." He marched Liam out the door.

The other police officer knelt down in front of Alex. "Alex, my name is Detective Cragen and I'm here to help you. I need you to tell me what happened."

Alex let out a shaky breath. Olivia climbed up on the bed with her and put her arms around her friend to stop her from shaking. "Hey, it's okay now, Alex," Olivia whispered in her trembling friend's ear. "It's okay."

Alex looked up at the detective, her eyes watering. "He's my boyfriend. But – but sometimes he hits me and he hurts me and he – he – he _forces _himself on me." Tears leaked from her eyes like large, wet pearls and she buried her face in Olivia's shoulder.

Detective Cragen sighed. "Alex, we need you to come down to the station and we'll talk more there."

Alex took Olivia's hand. Now that she had her friend again, she didn't want them to be separated. "Can Olivia come too?" asked Alex quietly, her voice quavering.

"Sure," said the detective. "We need to take Olivia's statement too. Come on."

The girls followed him to the car and climbed into the backseat.

When they reached the station, Detective Cragen took them into an interview room. "Is there anything I can get for you?" he asked. "Something to eat, a glass of water or something?"

Alex shook her head and clutched Olivia's hand. "No, thanks," said Olivia.

"Okay. Alex, I need you to tell me what happened."

Alex took a deep breath. "I was with Olivia and I heard Liam come in. I was scared of him, so I told Olivia to hide in the closet. Liam doesn't like her and he told me not to be her friend anymore, but I didn't listen, and I was scared he was going to hurt me more. He came into the room and he asked me what happened. I said nothing. He accused me of cheating on him and started shaking me and hitting me. Then he pulled off my clothes and he started touching me . . . everywhere . . . and licking me . . . and he was going to rape me." She gripped the table with her hands so hard that her knuckles turned white. "He'd done it before. A lot of times. He wanted to control me."

Olivia squeezed her hand comfortingly. "It's okay, Alex," she whispered as more tears streaked down her friend's face.

"Did he hit you often?" asked the detective.

Alex nodded.

"Can you show me?"

Alex wrapped her arms around herself. "I don't want to."

"You need to be examined by a doctor, Alex," said Detective Cragen. "We need to get a rape kit done."

Alex shook her head vigorously, her eyes wide with fear. "I don't want to," she whispered.

"Alex, it's important," said the detective. "You need to get checked out at the very least."

"I'll stay with you, Alex," Olivia assured her.

Alex sighed. "Okay. But promise you won't leave me alone."

Olivia smiled. An hour earlier, Alex had told her over and over to do just that. "I won't."

Alex took off her shirt and showed the doctor the purple bruises on her back and the angry red welts and self-inflicted cuts on her arms. She wrapped her arms around herself, but the doctor gently pried them away to reveal yellowing bruises on Alex's stomach. Detective Cragen photographed her injuries.

Alex glanced at Olivia, who was staying perfectly still. She seemed disgusted by Alex's injuries but she didn't even flinch at the bruises that covered her friend. She squeezed Alex's hand comfortingly.

Alex slowly pulled down her pants to reveal black and blue bruises all over her legs and darker ones on her thighs. The detective took some more pictures, then said gently, "Alex, we need to do a rape kit. I can leave if you want me to, but you need to do this."

Alex nodded. "Okay." She let out a shaky breath and climbed onto the examining table. She squeezed her eyes shut and clutched Olivia's hand like a lifeline as the doctor did the exam.

_Everything was going to be okay now,_ she tried to assure herself. _Everything was going to be just fine._ But still, she wasn't convinced. Still, she was afraid.

**Review to find out what happens next!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf (except for Liam).**

**Author's note: Okay, I know I didn't do a good job resolving Alex's self-destruction, but bear with me here. Let's keep it simple and say it only happened because of Liam and with him out of the picture, problem solved.**

**Review if you want more!**

Detective Cragen called Alex's parents. She begged him not to, but he said it was procedure, and he had to tell them what had happened.

Mr. Cabot didn't say anything. He just stared at Alex, seeming not to understand how something so awful could have happened to his little girl. Mrs. Cabot cried and cradled her daughter close. Alex went limp in her arms, reveling in the warmth. She couldn't remember the last time her mother had held her like that.

Olivia just sat there, looking uncomfortable. She felt like she was intruding on a private scene.

Finally, Mrs. Cabot broke the silence. "Let's go home," she murmured.

Her husband squeezed her hand and they stood up. "Come on, Olivia," said Mr. Cabot. He was having a bit of difficulty speaking. He sounded like he was about to cry. "I'll drive you home."

Olivia followed the Cabots to their limousine and climbed in next to Alex. "You okay?" she whispered.

Alex, clutching her mother's hand, nodded. "Thanks, Liv," she whispered.

Alex saw a fleeting look pass along Olivia's face as her friend lay her head in her mother's lap. Mrs. Cabot stroked Alex's hair. Mr. Cabot had an arm around his wife and rubbed Alex's back with his other hand.

They reached Olivia's small apartment. Alex's father offered to walk her inside but she shook her head. "I'm good. Bye, Alex."

"Bye, Liv," said Alex quietly.

"Olivia," said Mr. Cabot as she started to get out of the car. She turned to look back at him and he said softly, his voice cracking, "Thank you."

Olivia smiled. "See you later."

* * *

When they got home, Mrs. Cabot said, "Let's go into the family room, Alexandra. We need to talk."

Alex cringed. "I don't want to talk."

Mr. Cabot sighed. "Alexandra, why didn't you tell us?"

She shook her head. "I couldn't. I couldn't tell anybody. He made me promise." Tears sprang to her eyes.

"It's okay," whispered her mother, putting an arm around Alex, who laid her head on her mother's shoulder. "It's okay, baby. He's never going to hurt you again. But you know, you know now that you can always come to us. If anyone ever hurts you, you can always tell us and we'll help you."

Alex saw that her mother was struggling not to cry. "I'm sorry, Mom," she whispered.

"It's not your fault," replied her mother, cradling Alex like a small child. "I'm just glad you're all right now."

Alex closed her eyes and leaned into her mother, enjoying the warmth while it lasted. Maybe she'd be all right, maybe not.

* * *

Alex's mother let her stay home from school the next day. Alex slept until noon and woke up to the delicious aroma of banana pancakes. She padded into the kitchen and sat down at the table. The housekeeper greeted her with an appropriate somber look and Alex knew her parents had told Mara everything. "Where are Mom and Dad?" she asked.

Mara avoided her gaze. "Your father is at work. Your mother is at a luncheon."

Alex sighed. So nothing had changed after all. This was what it took for her parents to pay attention to her and it didn't even last. Yesterday had made Alex feel so good, but today it was over. Her parents were as distant as ever.

Alex knew in her heart that her parents loved her, but sometimes her head told her otherwise. Now, after finding out their daughter was beaten and raped, and then almost raped again yesterday, they were going on with their lives as if nothing had happened. Her father was at work, her mother was out for lunch with her friends, and she was left alone. As always.

She knew in the grand scheme of things, her mother wasn't that bad. Olivia's mother was a drunk and had a new man in the house every other week. Elliot's mother was bipolar and was on a different planet half the time. Her friend Jennifer's mother had died when she was three. Her friend Lena's mother was in jail because she had abused Lena and beat her within an inch of her life when she was seven. So relatively, she didn't have it all that bad.

"Thanks for the pancakes, Mara," said Alex with a sigh, taking a bite. They tasted perfect. Mara always made the best pancakes.

"How are you feeling, Alex?" asked Mara, concern evident on her face.

Alex shoveled another forkful of pancakes into her mouth. "I'm okay. When are Mom and Dad coming back?"

The housekeeper shrugged. "I'm not sure, sweetie."

Alex felt hot tears rush to her eyes, but she blinked them back. She didn't understand why she felt like crying now, when no one was hurting her. At least, not physically.

Alex ate breakfast, then went back to her room. She took two Tylenols for her migraine and lay back down in bed. Her mother had promised she'd get the door fixed first thing the next day, but for now they'd put up a curtain as a makeshift door. She stared at the doorway for a moment, the only evidence that yesterday had been real, had actually happened, had not been just a figment of her imagination, had not been just a bad dream.

She deliberately turned away and tried not to dwell on it, but the images, and the thoughts, wouldn't leave her mind. Olivia had probably saved her life yesterday. She was so brave. Alex wished she could be just like her one day, because even though life had been very cruel to her friend, she never let it get to her. She was always so strong. Not like Alex.

She suddenly felt the urge to go throw up all those pancakes she'd eaten. She was so fat and they were just going to make her fatter – but no. No. She wasn't fat. She was just perfect the way she was. Liam had just said those things because he wanted to control her and feeding off her insecurities made her more pliable.

Olivia had seen the cuts on Alex's arms and they had talked for a very long time about it. Alex had promised that she would never do anything like that again. "If you ever feel like you might hurt yourself, you can always call me," Olivia had told her. "You're my best friend, Alex, and I don't want anything to happen to you. And Alex, you need to start eating again. You're too thin. It isn't healthy. You were beautiful the way you were. You still are, but you need to get better. You need to start eating again. You aren't fat; Liam just told you that because he wanted to make you feel bad about yourself."

Alex had closed her eyes and murmured, "Well, it worked."

Olivia had squeezed her hand tightly. "Alex, you're my best friend, and one of the smartest, nicest, most helpful people I know. You're a good person and I hate that bastard for what he did to you, how he made you feel so inadequate."

"I'll stop," Alex had whispered. She couldn't stand how disappointed her best friend was in her. She could do this one little thing. "I'm going to be okay."

And she was okay. She had two pancakes for breakfast and kept them down. She looked in the mirror and she didn't feel a fat, ugly girl; she saw herself. She wasn't perfect, but she was beautiful in her own way, and that was as good as it could ever get. She'd thrown out all her razors when she got home. If they weren't there, she would never be able to cut herself again. But the strange thing was, she didn't even really want to. Hurting herself wasn't the answer. She understood that now.

She heard the doorbell ring and a soft voice speaking to Mara. "Go on up," said the housekeeper.

Alex heard light footsteps mounting the steps and immediately stiffened. She leaned against her headboard and wrapped her arms around herself, trying not to tremble.

"Alex," called Olivia's gentle voice. "It's me. Can I come in?"

Alex felt the tension in her shoulders and back abate. "Sure."

Olivia drew back the curtain and climbed onto the bed next to Alex. "How are you holding up?"

Alex shrugged. "I'm holding up."

"Did you have anything to eat?"

Alex resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Yeah. I had pancakes for breakfast. An hour ago. Go ask Mara if you don't believe me."

Olivia grinned. "I believe you. Where are your parents?"

Alex sighed. "Don't ask."

Noticing the sad, almost wistful expression on Alex's face, Olivia knew better than to pry. "Oh," was all she said.

Alex curled up on one side of the bed and pulled her knees to her chest. "Thanks for coming, Liv," she said quietly.

Olivia smiled. "I brought your homework."

"Aw, thanks," joked Alex. "And here I was thinking I'd get a day off."

Olivia laughed. "Glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor."

* * *

Alex returned to school on Monday. She stayed by Olivia's side the entire time. Her teachers, apparently, had been informed of the "situation" and didn't give her a hard time about anything.

The day was going fine until lunchtime. Olivia and Alex were walking toward Olivia's locker, but when they reached it, Alex turned white and gasped. She clutched Olivia's hand tightly, her nails creating little white crescents in her friend's palm.

Liam was standing by her locker, leaning his head casually against it. "Hey baby," he said with a malevolent grin. "Did you miss me?"

Alex bit back a scream and moved back. "You leave me alone!" she screamed.

Olivia stepped forward protectively. "Get away from her, Liam," she hissed through gritted teeth.

Liam smirked. "It's a free country."

Olivia clenched her fists. "You bastard, I'm going to rearrange your teeth."

"You'll do no such thing," said a teacher Alex didn't know, approaching from behind them. "Break it up, guys."

"Mrs. Crawford, this bastard is harassing my friend," growled Olivia.

The teacher rolled her eyes. "Language, Olivia."

"Tell him to stay – away – from Alex!" she all but shouted.

Liam inclined his head. "That's okay. I'm leaving." He turned and walked away, leaving two shaking girls in his wake. Alex was trembling in fear; Olivia in anger.

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	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf (except for Liam).**

**Author's note: Just so you know, I write these stories for **_**myself **_**and my own benefit. I share them if/when I want to or if/when you want me to, so no flames. If you don't like, then don't read. Simple as that.**

**Review for chapter ten!**

Alex begged her mother to let her stay home from school, but Mrs. Cabot refused. "If that boy's bothering you, we'll get a restraining order. But Alexandra, you can't hide out for the rest of your life. The longer you stay away, the harder it will be when you go back. And I'm not planning on homeschooling you."

"But Mom," she argued. "I don't want –"

"Alexandra, this conversation is over."

Alex sighed as she watched her mother leave the room. Nothing had changed.

* * *

Alex had to suffer through lunchtime the next day with Liam sitting mere inches away, at the table beside hers. Olivia noticed her discomfort. "Hey, Alex, why don't we go sit outside. It's a really nice day out."

Alex nodded gratefully. She grabbed her slice of pizza and followed Olivia outside. They leaned against the brick building and started to eat again. Alex had visibly relaxed.

"Are you okay?" asked Olivia quietly.

Alex hung her head. "I didn't want to be here."

"I know, Alex. I know this is hard for you. You're so brave, Alex." The admiration in her voice was genuine.

Alex gave her a watery smile. "Not as brave as you are."

Olivia sighed. She didn't know what to say to that. She just put her arms around Alex and hugged her tight. It was all she could do for her friend.

* * *

Alex slowly got over her fear. Every day made her a little stronger, a little less pliable, a little harder to manipulate. She could walk by Liam in the hall now without cringing, although he glared at her, a malevolent glower that frightened her more than she'd ever admit. But she would be strong. She refused to let him break her.

* * *

She was walking to her English class with her head held high when she felt someone grab her from behind. She automatically cried out, but then someone pressed a hand over her mouth. Her eyes widened when she realized it was Liam. She bit down hard on his hand and he cursed, muttering, "Bitch," but didn't let go. If anything, he squeezed her harder as he dragged her into the handicap washroom.

He threw her to the ground. "It's just you and me now, you little slut."

Terror filled Alex again and again. She knew what he was going to do now but she didn't want to let him see her beg. Her heart pounded so loudly that she was sure Liam could hear it and her pulse raced. She shied away from him as he smacked her across the face. He started tearing at her clothes once more and Alex was transported back to that horrible night, the first time he'd ever touched her like this. It was probably the worst day of her life.

Against her better judgment, she began to plead frantically, "Please, please don't do this!" She knew self-preservation trumped what little dignity she had left.

He just laughed and continued to undress her, ignoring her frenzied cries. He pulled down his pants and in that one moment that he took his eyes off her, she seized her chance. She kneed him hard where it hurt. Direct hit, and he doubled over in pain. She grabbed her clothes from where they'd been discarded, pulled her shirt over her head, and ran as fast as she could.

She was breathing hard when she burst out the door. Drained of her adrenaline, she sank down against the brick wall and buried her head in her hands. She closed her eyes and tried to pretend she was anywhere but here as the tears streaked down her face.

* * *

Alex felt a gentle hand on her shoulder a while later. She snapped her head up and shied away.

"Hey, Alex, it's just me." It was Olivia, concern evident on her face.

Alex managed a smile. "Hey."

"What's the matter, Alex?"

"Nothing." But she said it too quickly and Olivia knew her too well.

"Alex, what happened? What did he do?"

"Nothing!" It came out as a frantic plea.

Olivia shrugged. "Okay, fine. Ready to come back inside?"

Alex shook her head vigorously.

"Then tell me what that son of a bitch did!"

Alex took a shaky breath, then let it all out.

Olivia just stared at her, her expression unreadable, and that scared Alex. Finally, she said quietly, "I'm going to kill that bastard."

Alex knew she really might, so she said hastily, "I'm fine, Liv!"

"No, Alex," she whispered. "You're not."

"I'm going home, Liv. I don't want to stay here."

"Won't your mom be angry?"

"I honestly don't care."

"Can I come with you?" asked Olivia.

Alex shook her head. "I just need to be alone."

Olivia sighed. "Fine. I'll see you tomorrow, Alex."

* * *

When Alex got home, she raced to the washroom and threw up. She kept seeing Liam's face flash across her mind, his leering, horrible face. His hands. His body. Everything.

When there was nothing left in her stomach to throw up, she went to her room and lay face up on the bed, staring at the ceiling. She watched an ant crawl along the ceiling, moving so slowly that he barely got anywhere, and Alex knew when her mother or the housekeeper saw the bug, they would kill it and its fight would have been futile.

That was how Alex felt.

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	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf (except for Liam).**

**I'm not exactly sure what I want to do with this, so if anyone has any ideas, feel free to give them to me. I might end it in a couple more chapters or I might keep going; I'm just not sure. Sorry; I know this one's short.**

**Review, as always.**

"I'm sick," complained Alex the next morning when the housekeeper came to wake her.

Mara knitted her brow in concern. "Should I get your mother?"

Alex sighed and leaned back against her pillows. She didn't say anything.

A few minutes later, Mrs. Cabot came into the room. "Are you sick, honey?" she asked, pressing her lips to Alex's forehead. "No fever."

"I don't feel well," repeated Alex. "I need to stay home."

Her mother sighed. "Fine. I have a charity event this morning, so I'll be back around three. Mara will make you some chicken soup."

Alex nodded. "Bye, Mom."

As the women left, she lay her head back down on the pillow and closed her eyes. Today, at least, she had an out.

* * *

Olivia dropped by around eleven. She climbed up on Alex's bed and sat down next to her. "Hey."

Alex opened her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Olivia gave her a small, self-satisfied smile. "Let's just say Liam got what was coming to him."

"What did you do?"

"Well . . . I might have hit him."

"You might have."

"And I might have kicked him."

"You might have," agreed Alex, amused.

"And I might have told him I was going to cut off his balls and put them in a blender."

Alex laughed. "And let me guess – a teacher _might _have heard you?"

"Right. I got suspended. For three days. So I guess if you're playing hooky, I'll hang out here."

"Won't your mom freak?"

Olivia shrugged. "What she doesn't know can't hurt her. I did what I had to do."

Alex smiled. "Thanks, Liv."

"He's never going to hurt anyone again."

"How do you know?"

"Currently, he's in the hospital with three broken ribs and a fractured arm. According to the principal, I'm lucky he didn't decide to press assault charges."

Alex sat up straight in bed. "Liv, he might hurt you!"

"No, he won't. I kicked his pathetic ass to the curb and he'll never hit any girl ever again."

Alex grinned. "Thanks, Liv."

Olivia smiled back. "That's what friends are for."

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	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf (except for Liam).**

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Alex waited a week before returning to school. Liam wasn't there; he was still in the hospital. Olivia stuck to her like glue the entire time.

Alex eventually started to get her life back together. She brought her grades back up to straight A's as they had been pre-Liam. She spent lunch with Olivia and Elliot, laughing over hamburgers or pizza. Her bruises healed, but the question remained whether the internal scars would ever fade.

One day, Alex and Olivia were over at Alex's house. They were lounging on her bed and Olivia was showing her pictures that she and Elliot had taken on the weekend. They had gone to visit one of Elliot's sisters who lived near Niagara Falls. "It's the puniest little one-horse town you'll ever go to," said Olivia. "But it sure is beautiful."

Alex giggled. "Did you go on that boat?"

"The _Maid of the Mist_? Sure. Elliot wanted to, actually. He's already been on it like, twenty times, but he thought it would be romantic. It wasn't. It rained."

Alex chuckled. "He sure has a warped view of romantic!"

Then Alex's cell phone started to ring. She checked the caller ID, but it came up as unknown. She answered her phone cautiously. "Hello?"

The person on the other line didn't say anything.

"Hello?" Alex repeated, a feeling of dread knotting in the pit of her stomach.

_Click_. She heard the dial tone and sighed. She closed her phone and turned back to Olivia. "Wrong number."

It wasn't a lie. It _might _have been a wrong number.

* * *

But Alex kept getting these hang-up calls. They occurred twice, occasionally three times, a day. She didn't see Liam at school anymore, but she had a bad feeling that he was the one who kept calling her.

On the third day, she answered the phone with a high-pitched, "Stop calling here!" Her voice betrayed her terror.

The reply was only a soft chuckle and then the dial tone once again.

Alex closed her phone and clasped her hands to stop them from shaking.

* * *

The next day at school, Alex was nervous and jumpy. Every little sound or unexpected movement startled her and she spent lunchtime staring off into space.

She jumped a mile when Olivia tapped her on the shoulder. "Don't _do _that, Liv!"

Olivia's brow knitted in concern. "Alex, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, but Olivia's skeptical look told her that her friend wasn't fooled for a minute.

Alex's heart nearly stopped when she felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket. She pressed it to her ear. "Hello?" she said, trying not to let her voice betray her fear.

"Hey, Lex," said Liam casually. "How are you doing?"

Alex's eyes widened in horror and she slammed her phone shut.

"Who was that, Alex?" asked Elliot, clearly worried about her.

"N-no one," she stammered.

"Liam?" said Olivia knowingly.

Alex nodded mutely.

Olivia balled her hands into fists. "That son of a bitch. How long has he been calling you for?"

"A – Awhile," whispered Alex.

"I'm going to kill him," muttered Olivia.

Alex rolled her eyes. She'd heard this one too many times for it to have any effect.

Elliot smirked and put his arm around Olivia. "My warrior."

She shook him off, clearly not appreciating his levity. "Shut up."

"It's okay, Liv," said Alex quickly. "I – I'll get my number changed and then he won't be able to call me, and – and –"

"Alex," Olivia cut her off. "He's _stalking _you. He can't leave you alone. He's never going to let up unless we do something."

"No," corrected Alex. "He's not going to let up unless _I _do something. It's _my _problem, not yours. He isn't _stalking_ me, Liv. You're being melodramatic."

Elliot raised his eyebrows. Olivia reached out her hand and placed it on Alex's arm. Alex flinched. Seeming proud to have proved her point, Olivia said, "Look what he's done to you, Alex. Just look. _He's never going to stop. _We need to do something."

Alex closed her eyes. "It's not your problem, Liv," she repeated dully. She didn't want to say the words, but she knew she had to. It wasn't fair to Olivia.

"Alex, you're my best friend," said Olivia firmly. "My problems are your problems."

"Like in _Barney_," added Elliot helpfully. "_Your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends_ –"

Olivia punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Elliot, you're not helping. I'll see you later, okay? Let Alex and I talk."

Alex smirked as she watched Elliot walk off. "Boys."

"They just don't know when to make a joke and when to shut up," agreed Olivia.

"Right."

"So, back to Liam."

"What about him?"

Olivia sighed. "Alex, we need to do something. I don't care if you do it or I do it or we both do it, but someone needs to stop him."

Alex shook her head. "Give it up, Liv."

"I can't, Alex. That bastard wants to hurt you and I'm not going to let him. You're my best friend. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you."

"Nothing will."

"That's what you said before, but look what happened!"

"I –" began Alex, but she was interrupted when her phone rang again. She answered it cautiously just in case it was someone important. "Hello?"

"Hey, baby," said the voice on the other line. Liam. "I miss you. When are we going to get together?"

Alex slammed her phone shut and hurled it across the cafeteria. A bunch of kids stopped eating to gawk at her but she didn't care. She turned back to Olivia, a look of fierce determination in her eyes. "I'll tell my mom I lost it. She'll be upset, but she'll get over herself. She'll get me a new one and a new number. It'll be okay."

Olivia sighed. "Alex, I don't think –"

"Olivia, I appreciate your concern, but it's taken care of. I can do it."

Olivia shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant, but her eyes betrayed her concern. "Fine. But I'm here if you need anything. Remember that."

Alex copied her friend and tried to appear casual. "Sure," she said. But her voice shook.

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	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf (except for Liam).**

**Review for chapter thirteen!**

"Mom," said Alex hesitantly at dinner that evening. "I kind of wrecked my cell phone."

Her mother sighed. "Alexandra, you need to be more careful!"

Alex hung her head. "I know. I'm sorry. But it won't work anymore. Can I go out and get a new one?"

Mrs. Cabot sighed again. "Do you promise you'll be more careful this time?"

"I promise."

"Fine, then. But this is your last chance. If you aren't responsible enough for a phone, you simply won't have one."

Alex nodded. She didn't really want her mother to be disappointed in her, but she didn't see any other way.

* * *

She and Olivia went after school the next day to pick out a new cell phone. Alex got the new generation iPhone.

"That is so awesome," said Olivia as they paid for it, a tinge of longing in her voice. "You can even go on the Internet with it!"

Alex smiled uneasily. It always made her uncomfortable that she had so much and Olivia had so little, yet Olivia rarely wanted anything more. Alex had her own laptop, television, and now iPhone. She had a wardrobe full of designer outfits and a house with a tennis court, a swimming pool, and a hot tub. Olivia, on the other hand, lived in a small apartment and came to school wearing tattered jeans almost every day. Alex was happy to share what she had with her friend, but Olivia was too proud to ask for anything or even accept what Alex offered.

"You can fool around with it if you like," offered Alex.

Olivia shrugged. "Cool." She was better with gadgets than Alex, so Alex figured her friend would be able to show her how to use it within the next hour.

They went over to Alex's house and lounged on her bed, exploring the iPhone in its entirety. Alex downloaded a bunch of random applications, just for the heck of it, and they had fun figuring out how to work them and then laughing at their futility.

"This one," said Olivia, "is absolutely useless. Why would you want an app that lists every single type of cheese that exists?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know. If you're a gourmet chef?"

They both laughed.

Alex heard a knock on the door. "Come in," she called.

Mara entered the room. "Hello, Olivia," she said. "Alex, the phone's for you?"

Alex's heart skipped a beat. "Who is it?"

Mara shrugged and left the room.

"Don't answer it, Alex!" said Olivia, the smile fading from her face.

"It might be someone important," replied Alex. She pressed the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, Lex," said the voice on the other line. "I'll be at your house at seven to pick you up for dinner, okay?"

Alex turned white as a ghost. "Leave me alone!" she screeched. "Don't you ever call me again!" She hung up, hands shaking.

Olivia leaned toward her friend. "What did he say?"

"He – he said he was going to pick me up later and take me out! Do you think he will?" she whispered, her breathing shallow.

"Alex," said Olivia firmly, worry creasing her face. "You need to tell somebody. He's not the kind of guy who's going to give up. You need to –"

"I can't," said Alex quietly. "I don't want to tell anyone. I can deal with this."

"Alex, you need to tell your parents."

"Olivia, don't you tell me what I need to do!" snapped Alex, her independent, self-confident mask in place once again. "I can take care of myself."

"I'm only trying to help you because I care about you," said Olivia gently. "I want to make sure you're safe."

It would have sounded odd coming from any other sixteen-year-old, but from Olivia, the words were clearly genuine.

Alex took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Liv. I – I don't want to get you involved. It's not fair."

Olivia squeezed her hand. "Alex, it's not fair for you to deal with it by yourself either."

Alex nodded. "So, what should I do?"

"No, what should _we _do?" Olivia corrected her.

She smiled. "Okay, what should _we _do?"

"I think you should tell your parents."

Alex rolled her eyes. "You don't know how parents are, Liv."

"Your parents aren't so bad."

"That's just because yours are a hundred times worse. Relatively, mine are saints."

Olivia bit her lip. "I guess."

Alex sighed. "I'm sorry, Liv. I just – what are the alternatives?"

Olivia shrugged. "I'll stay with you if you want – you know, just in case."

She smiled. "Thanks, Liv."

"So," said Olivia, changing the subject. "Did you start studying for that math test yet?"

"Yes, actually," replied Alex, relieved at the topic change.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You're such a goody-goody. It's in two weeks!"

"If you didn't want to know, why did you ask?"

Olivia smirked. "I didn't even look at the review sheet."

Olivia never studied until the night before and she still managed to attain B's. It amazed Alex, who studied like crazy for every test, how her friend could do moderately well without working hard. But of course, Olivia didn't care all that much. Alex was a perfectionist and got upset when she got anything less than an A on a test.

Alex noticed that the telephone was still in her hands and hurled it across the room. Olivia stared at her. Alex always took good care of her room and went to great lengths to keep it pristine.

The phone made a scratch as it thudded against the opposite wall. Alex closed her eyes and took a deep breath, burying her head in her hands. "My mom's going to kill me."

"She won't even notice," Olivia told her.

"_Your_ mom wouldn't," snapped Alex. "My mom notices every little imperfection."

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "So _that's_ where you get it from."

Alex sighed, too worn-out to think of a good comeback. "Shut up."

"Sorry, Alex," apologized Olivia. She got up to retrieve the phone and handed it to her friend.

Alex chewed on her lower lip, her brain jumping back to Liam, her voice betraying her anxiety. "Liv, what are we going to do if Liam comes?"

"I haven't exactly gotten that far yet, but why don't you just tell Mara not to let him in?"

Alex exhaled heavily. "Because then she'll want to know why and I can't tell her."

"Okay," said Olivia, knowing better than to press the issue. "So why don't I just beat the crap out of him again?"

Alex grinned ruefully. "You just want an excuse to put him in the hospital again."

Olivia smiled back. "I do."

"You need to be careful, Liv," warned Alex. "You might not get so lucky next time."

She shrugged. "That bastard deserves what he gets."

Alex groaned. "Are you _ever _going to stop?"

"Yup."

Alex was surprised. "When?"

"When he does."

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	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf (except for Liam).**

**Thanks to Kendra23 for your review and suggestions.**

**Review for more!**

By 6:30, Alex was a nervous wreck. Olivia tried to distract Alex from staring at the door, but to no avail. "You know, Alex," she said. "He might not even come." But the words sounded hollow, even to her, and Alex continued to watch the door through glassy eyes.

At 7:00, Alex began to shiver uncontrollably. Olivia put her arms around her friend and tried to reassure her, but Alex couldn't stop shaking. "He's going to be here soon," she stammered.

"He might not be."

Alex pulled away, tired of Olivia's futile attempts to comfort her. "Shut up, Liv. Just – just shut up."

Olivia, for once, did as she was told.

7:30 came and went, but still Liam didn't arrive. Alex leaned against her pillows, chewing her lip and clasping her hands to stop them from shaking, tapping her foot anxiously against the bed.

"He's not coming, Alex," said Olivia with a sigh. "That son of a bitch just wanted to scare you."

Alex let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Right. I'm so gullible! Of course he wasn't going to come. I'm sorry, Liv."

"Do you want me to stay with you?" asked Olivia.

Alex shook her head. "No – no, I think you should probably go. My mom will be wondering what you're doing here if you stay for dinner and I don't know what I'll tell her if she asks."

She saw Olivia's face fall and immediately felt guilty. She knew that Olivia hated going home and being with her drunken mother and a long line of boyfriends who stuck around for a week before Serena Benson kicked them out. Alex's house was more peaceful than any home Olivia had ever known, which was one of the reasons why Olivia loved spending so much time at the Cabots'.

But she managed to smile at Alex anyway. "Okay. See you tomorrow, Alex."

"Do you want me to get David to drive you home?"

Olivia shrugged. "No, that's okay. I can walk."

Alex hesitated. "It's late and it's dark out . . ."

"I'll be fine." Olivia rolled her eyes. "God, you sound like my mother. No, sorry, you sound like _your _mother."

Alex laughed. "Okay. See you tomorrow."

"See you," echoed Olivia.

Alex watched her disappear down the walkway, getting smaller and smaller before vanishing altogether. She almost wished her friend would stay, but shook away the thought. This wasn't Olivia's problem. Olivia had enough problems of her own. This was her own problem, something she had to deal with herself.

The doorbell rang and Alex absently opened the door, still thinking about Olivia.

She gasped when she saw who was standing on the doorstep. It was Liam, wearing a neatly pressed button-down shirt and carrying a bouquet of daisies.

"W-what do you want?" she stammered, trying to mask her fear.

He shrugged. "To go out with my best girl." He handed her the flowers.

"Get out!" Alex ordered, trying to pull the door closed, but he shoved it open, the amicable look fading from his eyes.

"Bitch," he hissed.

Suddenly he extended his hands to grasp Alex's throat and pinned her against the side of her house. Alex tried to scream, but she couldn't get enough air into her lungs. She tried to pry his hands from her throat, but he was too strong and only tightened his grip and shoved her hard against the wall. Alex hit her head on the brick and tried to keep her tears from streaming down her cheeks. She wouldn't let Liam see her cry.

He released her after what seemed like an eternity and shoved her to the ground. He smacked her in the face once, twice, three times until Alex grabbed his arm and pushed him away. She wasn't stronger than he was but the element of surprise worked in her favor. The shock was evident on his face; Alex had never tried to fight back like this before.

"Don't you ever come near me again, you bastard!" she shouted, and shoved him away, throwing the flowers at his head and stepping back into the house.

She slammed the door in his face and bolted it, her heart still pounding, adrenaline still coursing through her veins as she quaked in fright. But she had done it. He was gone. She had been brave and protected herself, without Olivia's help.

She heard footsteps making their way down the hallway and jumped a mile at her mother's voice. "Who was that, Alexandra?"

"Um, no one," stuttered Alex.

Mrs. Cabot peered at her daughter. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," she replied quickly.

"Dinner's ready."

"Okay. Just a sec."

Alex took a moment to catch her breath and ease her rapid heartbeat before following her mother into the kitchen. She sat down next to her father in the dining room and took a few mechanical bites of chicken without tasting it while her father told her mother about work and her mother told her father about her current crusade, advocating for kids with leukemia. She'd seen the movie _My Sister's Keeper_ and thought she should take a stand, which was all fine and dandy, but it was just one of Mrs. Cabot's phases. Every other week she chose a new charity, and she never ended up doing much for any of them.

After dinner, Alex debated whether to call Olivia and tell her about Liam. She finally decided against it, figuring it would only worry her friend. There was nothing Olivia could do now; Liam wasn't going to try anything else tonight and Olivia would want to be with her and would torture herself all night worrying. She might even try to come to Alex's house, which would be a very stupid thing to do, considering how far away the girls lived. It was at least a ten minute cab ride, and of course Olivia had no money for a taxi, so she'd either walk or take the subway, both of which were dangerous for a young girl alone at night in New York City.

* * *

The next day at lunch, Alex made Elliot go sit with the basketball team. She liked Elliot, but she wanted to talk to Olivia without him there.

"So, what's up?" asked Olivia once Elliot had left.

Alex took a deep breath. "Liam came last night."

Olivia clenched her fists. "That son of a bitch. Are you okay? Did he try anything? Did he hurt you?"

Alex told her what had happened.

When she finished, Olivia relaxed slightly. "Good for you, Alex," she said. "But still, I think we need to tell someone. He's not going to give up and you can't deal with this yourself."

"Like who?" asked Alex skeptically.

"I thought about it last night," said Olivia. "Maybe we should call Detective Cragen. He gave you his card, remember? He said to call him if you needed anything. I think he'll help us."

**Review if you want chapter fourteen!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf (except for Liam).**

**I think I'm only going to write one or two more chapters. Does anyone have any suggestions?**

**Review for the next chapter!**

"So how are you doing, Alex?" asked Detective Cragen, leaning back in his chair.

Alex, Olivia, and the detective were sitting around a table at the precinct. Olivia was silently sipping a juice box as Alex shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "Okay," she whispered.

"Tell him what happened with Liam," prompted Olivia.

Alex looked at the ground. "He's been calling me."

Detective Cragen nodded for her to continue.

"For the last two weeks, I got these hang-up calls, a couple times a day. Then one time, he said he missed me. I told him to stop calling me, but he called again and he said he was going to come pick me up for dinner. I told him to leave me alone, but he showed up anyway and he gave me flowers. I told him to leave and then he started – started hitting me, shoving me, pinned me against the wall, hurt me. I managed to fight him off and slammed the door in his face – but – but . . ." She buried her head in her hands and murmured, "I'm scared."

The detective let out a deep breath. "Alex, you did the right thing by coming to me."

"So what can you do?" cut in Olivia, leaning forward and resting her head in her hands.

"We're going to have to get an order of protection," replied Detective Cragen. "Do you know what that is?"

Alex nodded. "It means he can't come within a hundred feet of me and if he does, you can arrest him for violating a restraining order. But what about school?"

The detective knitted his brows. "Is he harassing you at school?"

She nodded again.

"That's funny, because I distinctly remember having a discussion with your principal, who assured me that Liam was going to be suspended pending our investigation. I think I'll go have another – firmer – discussion with him."

"Thank you," whispered Alex.

"So, I'll drive you home and then I'll go over to your school and talk with your principal. I'll also go talk to Liam's parents again to reinforce that he needs to stay away from you. Does that sound good to you?"

Alex nodded mutely.

"Remember, you can always call me if he's bothering you or if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay."

"Good. Come on."

* * *

Alex didn't see Liam at school the next day, or the day after that, or the day after that, and she breathed a little more easily. Olivia stuck by her side, a shield she didn't need but was glad for anyway.

Detective Cragen managed to get her an order of protection. He had to pull a few strings, but the restraining order prevented Liam from having any contact whatsoever with Alex.

It seemed to work, because for a few weeks, nothing happened. Alex started going out with a boy from her law class, Trevor Langan. She was able to have a relatively normal relationship with him. She was finally healing.

One night, Trevor and Alex were at a movie when Alex's phone vibrated in her pocket. "Hold on a second," she said to Trevor and stepped outside the theater. "Hello?"

All she heard was heavy breathing and her heart began to race. "Who is this?"

"You're going to die, bitch," hissed the rough voice on the other line. Then he hung up.

Alex stared at the phone she held in her shaking hands. She suddenly felt weak and rested her head on the wall to keep from fainting.

"Alex?" said an uncertain voice.

Alex jumped and raised her hands to cover her head. "Don't touch me!" she shrieked.

"Alex, what's wrong?"

Alex looked up and her heart sank. It was Trevor, not Liam. Trevor. Everything was okay. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"What happened?" asked Trevor, confusion evident in his tone.

"Nothing, nothing," replied Alex. "Let's – let's go finish the movie, okay?"

Trevor, although he still looked a bit skeptical, nodded and followed Alex back inside.

* * *

When Trevor dropped Alex off at home, the first thing she did was call Olivia. "I'm on my way over," said Olivia immediately. "Don't go anywhere; don't do anything stupid. Don't answer the door if it rings. I'm going to hop on the subway and I'll be there in half an hour. Call Detective Cragen."

"Okay," said Alex, unable to keep her voice from wobbling. "See you in half an hour. Thanks, Liv."

She dialed the detective's number and he answered on the first ring. "Cragen."

"Detective Cragen? It's Alex Cabot."

She could hear him become immediately alert. "What's the matter, Alex?"

"He – he called me. He s-said he was going – going to k-kill me," she stammered.

"Okay. Where are you right now?"

"I'm at home," she said, trying to calm her ragged breathing.

"I'm going to send out a protective detail, just in case he tries anything. Alex, did you tell your parents about the call?"

"No. They aren't home."

"All right. Detective Munch and I will be there in five minutes. Don't answer the door for anyone except us. When we arrive, I'll ring the doorbell twice and identify myself. Keep the door locked otherwise."

"Olivia's coming over in about twenty minutes," said Alex.

"Okay. We'll look out for her."

"Thanks," she whispered.

"No problem."

Alex hung up and pulled a sweatshirt on to stop herself from shivering. She took out her math homework and tried to do the first problem, but she couldn't concentrate. She finally threw her pen down in frustration and buried her head in her hands.

Alex jumped when she heard the doorbell ring twice, but then she remembered what Detective Cragen had told her. It was the police. She was perfectly safe, but that didn't stop her hands from shaking as she unlocked the door.

"Hi, Alex," said Detective Cragen when she opened the door.

Alex let out a sigh of relief. "Hi."

She could make out through the darkness a figure jogging up the walkway. Detective Cragen whipped around and pulled out his gun, pointing it at the figure. "Police! Put your hands where I can see them."

Olivia came into view, her hands raised above her head. "Whoa, it's just me. Hey, Alex. Are you okay?"

The detective lowered his gun. "Sorry. You can just never be too careful."

Olivia stepped into the house. "So what's happening?"

"Detective Munch and I are going to stay here tonight," said Detective Cragen. "Go upstairs, relax, do whatever teenage girls do. We've got it taken care of."

Alex managed a small smile. "Thanks." She closed the door and started up the stairs. Olivia followed.

Alex lay down on her bed and Olivia sat down next to her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Alex shook her head. "No – just, thanks for coming."

"No problem," said Olivia. "Hey, can I borrow some of your PJs? I didn't bring mine."

"Sure," replied Alex. She walked over to her closet and took out some pajamas and tossed them to Olivia. "Here."

The girls changed into their pajamas and sat on the bed in silence, neither one knowing what to say. Finally, Olivia said, "You know, tomorrow's a school day and it's after midnight. We should probably go to sleep."

Alex smirked. "You know, I have never actually heard you say that before."

Olivia's eagerness to go to sleep further exemplified the graveness of the situation, so Alex agreed. She pulled out her sleeping bag. "You can have the bed," she offered.

Olivia refused, as she always did. "You take the bed and I'll sleep here."

Alex smiled a bit and climbed into the bed. "Goodnight, Liv."

But she couldn't sleep. She lay awake, staring at the ceiling and flinching at every noise. Her parents were out of town, for which she was thankful – they wouldn't be too crazy about having a police detail sitting outside their house for the whole world to see.

She heard a yell from outside and bolted upright as a voice shouted, "Police! Put your hands where we can see them!"

Alex got up and drew back the curtain. She peered out the window and jumped when she saw Detective Cragen slapping handcuffs on Liam.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and cringed, but it was just Olivia. "Alex, what's the matter?"

"Liam," she breathed out. "But – but Detective Cragen – he put handcuffs on him – he's taking him back to the station, I guess."

The girls watched the police car drive away with Liam in the back seat.

**Review, as always.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. They belong to Dick Wolf (except for Liam).**

**Sorry for the infrequency of updates; I've been sick. I decided this is going to be the last chapter, so enjoy! Thanks for reading.**

**Please review; they make my day.**

"Liv," said Alex anxiously. "I need your help! I have no clue what to wear."

Olivia, who was sprawled out reading a magazine on Alex's bed, laughed. "You have, like, ten billion outfits and not one of them is adequate for tonight?"

"Well, I'm going to meet Trevor's parents and I need to make a good impression," she whined.

It had been three months since Liam's arrest and he was going to be in jail for the next ten years. Alex had testified at his trial and now she was starting to get her life back together, including a new boyfriend. Trevor Langan treated her better than any boy she'd ever known.

Olivia looked up from the magazine. "Um, well, you don't want to look too formal. Wear nice pants and a blouse. End of story."

Alex made a face. "That only narrows it down to three quarters of my wardrobe."

Olivia turned a page and didn't look up. "Wear your brown pants and your navy sweater."

Alex pulled the magazine out of her hand. "Liv, this is serious! What did you wear when you met Elliot's parents?"

Her friend shrugged. "Jeans and a t-shirt, just like I always do. What's the big deal?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "You're no help at all." But she dug in her closet for the sweater and pants and pulled them on. She turned back to Olivia. "Is this okay?"

Olivia gave Alex an approving thumb-up. "You look great, Alex."

She grinned and took a deep breath. "Okay. I'm ready."

"When's he picking you up?"

"Six." She glanced at the clock. "Oh, my God! That's in ten minutes! And, Liv, he's always early!"

Olivia laughed. "Okay, Alex, breathe."

Just then, the doorbell rang. Alex looked as if she was about to faint.

"I'll get it!" called Olivia. She raced down the stairs and flung open the door. "Hey, Trevor."

He looked bewildered. "Olivia? Um, hi. Where's Alex?"

Olivia gave him a devilish grin. "Oh, she doesn't live here."

Alex trotted into the hallway behind her friend and gave her a good-natured shove. "Get lost, Liv. Hi, Trevor."

Olivia grinned. "Have fun, you two." She started to jog down the walkway. "See you tomorrow, Alex."

Alex waved to her friend, shaking her head. "That Olivia."

Trevor held out his hand. "Shall we?"

She followed him to his black Lexus and climbed into the passenger seat. "So, how are you?" she asked.

"Good. Okay, just to warn you, my family's kind of crazy."

"Tell me more about them," said Alex. "I know you have a younger brother and sister, but what else?"

He shrugged. "Stevie's four and Rebecca's twelve. Typical pain in the ass little brother, typical drama queen little sister. What's more to tell?"

Alex laughed. "I wish I had little siblings."

"Believe me," said Trevor, turning onto his street. "You don't." He parked the car in his driveway. "Come on."

Trevor's house wasn't as large as Alex's, but it was still quite respectable. She followed him up the steps and into the house.

A little boy with a mop of dark, curly hair bounded into the hallway. "Hey, Trev. Is that your girlfriend?"

Trevor rolled his eyes. "This is Alex. Alex, this is Stevie. Can't you tell?"

Alex giggled and knelt down in front of Stevie. "It's nice to meet you."

Stevie smiled. "Wanna come see my room?"

"No, she doesn't," cut in Trevor. "Where are Mom and Dad?"

"Mom's cooking something that smells like chicken and Dad's on the phone. It's a business call, so leave him alone."

"Thanks," said Trevor sarcastically. "Now get lost."

Stevie stuck his tongue out. "You can't tell me what to do!"

Trevor rolled his eyes. "Fine. Come on, Alex." Alex followed Trevor down to the basement, Stevie trotting along behind them.

"Your house is nice," commented Alex, glancing around the comfortably furnished basement.

He laughed. "Well, we don't have a tennis court or a hot tub or an indoor pool, but it's nice enough. Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Sure. What do you have?"

Stevie climbed up onto the couch and rested his head on the armrest. "Let's watch Transformers."

"_You're_ not watching anything," said Trevor, lifting his brother off the couch. "Get lost."

Stevie shook his head stubbornly.

Trevor shot Alex an exasperated sigh. "See what I mean?"

"It's okay," she said. She knelt down in front of the little boy so they were eye level. "Hey, Stevie, do you like Lego?"

Stevie nodded. "Yeah. I got lots of Lego in my room."

"Why don't you go build me a tower or something, okay?"

The little boy shrugged. "Okay." He obediently jumped off the couch and started up the stairs.

Trevor raised his eyebrows. "Impressive."

Alex smiled. "So what are we going to watch?"

* * *

At dinner, Stevie insisted on sitting next to Alex. He asked her to cut up his chicken and ladle out his potatoes for him.

"You know, you don't have to put up with him," muttered Trevor.

Alex shrugged good-naturedly. "It's okay." She passed Stevie's plate back to him. "Here you go."

"Thanks," he said with a smile and started to shovel food into his mouth.

"So, Alex," said Mrs. Langan. "Tell me about yourself."

"Well, I'm an only child. I want to be a lawyer when I grow up. My favorite subject in school is English. I like school. I do cross-country and I play piano."

Trevor's mother nodded approvingly.

"Do you like video games?" asked Stevie, his mouth full of potatoes.

Trevor rolled his eyes. "Don't talk with your mouth full."

Stevie blew a raspberry and shrugged.

"Stevie, don't do that at the table," admonished his mother. "It's rude."

Alex smiled to herself as she took a bite of chicken.

* * *

"Bye, Alex," said Trevor as he dropped her off in front of her house that evening. "I had a nice night."

She smiled at him. "Me, too."

"Sorry Stevie bothered you so much."

"It's okay. He's cute."

She stepped onto the stoop. "I'll see you tomorrow, Trevor."

"Okay. Bye, Alex."

Before she even knew what she was doing, Alex had leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Trevor looked surprised for a moment, but he kissed her right back.

Finally they broke apart. "Bye, Trevor," whispered Alex, slowly backing away.

"See you, Alex."

He watched her let herself into the house, then got back into his car and drove back home.

Alex's heart was pounding as she ran upstairs to her bedroom. Her hands shook out of pure ecstasy as she dialed Olivia's phone number.

It rang once, twice, then – "Hello?"

"Liv, he kissed me!"

"Oh, my God!" shrieked Olivia.

"Well, actually, no. I kissed him."

"Alex!" squealed Olivia. "Tell me all about it!"

Alex laughed and gave her a detailed account of their night.

"Wow," Olivia breathed out when she was finished. "That's so awesome."

Alex could hear a crash in the background and then a drunken cry for, "Olivia!"

Olivia sighed. "I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Bye, Liv."

Alex hung up and sat staring out the window. She looked up at the stars and smiled when she saw two so close that they looked like they were holding hands. She smiled. That was her and Trevor. Finally, she'd found her guy. Now, her life could go on.

**Hope you enjoyed! Please drop me a review.**


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